You're Korean-American. Your parents are Korean and you live in the land called America in your Korean-ness. Not in a metropolitan part of the U.S., you're surrounded by more whites than other Asians, let alone other Koreans. And your parents would like you to marry a Korean in the future.
So you ponder about this. A Korean partner would be nice in so many ways, you share the same culture, same language, and just within these two things, come about more specifics: you can understand Korean jokes together, enjoy the same food, and talk about Korean news.
Then you think deeper. "Do I want a Korean-Korean or a Korean-American like me?" Does this matter? Kind of. Both are Korean but their degrees of "Korean-ness" may be different. The Korean-Korean would not understand the American culture that you've grown up in. When you're speaking Korean to your Korean-Korean partner, you have a brain fart and cannot remember a word in Korean but you know it in English. Well your Korean-Korean partner does not know that English word. Or what about the food? American food is generally nothing too foreign for Korean-Koreans to encounter. But there's the greasiness that Korean-Koreans find frightening. Or the sweetness in the snacks and desserts that are too much. While you're inhaling these American food, will you leave your Korean-Korean to push around their fork/spoon and yearn for some kimchi?
So Korean-American, it is? Well, here's the thing: you find Korean-Koreans more attractive than Korean-Americans somehow. The environment that one grows up in must have some kind of factor into this. Not only that, most Korean-Americans are not very Korean. Some, and by that I mean a vast majority of them, are in fact, white-washed. But you have the Korean and American cultures balanced out in you. So if you do go with a Korean-American, what if he can't even properly introduce himself in the most simple way in Korean? Wouldn't it be horribly humiliating when you introduce him/her to your very Korean parents?
Okay, but let's go back to the fact that you are actually surrounded by white Americans. Where do you find a Korean-American your age, let alone a Korean-Korean, near you? Oh, maybe you'll meet him/her in South Korea, for whatever occasion you may be in. Wait, then how does that Korean-Korean meets Korean-American from the U.S.A work - do you bring him/her with you back to the States or do you stay with them? Okay, well, you're not exactly living under a rock, maybe going to college or moving to a bigger city will let you encounter many more Koreans! Wait. Korean-Americans, that is.
Oh look, there goes another attractive white American. Parents still want you to marry a Korean. You don't object. But hey, there's another attractive white American.
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Disclaimer: This is surely not every Korean-American's dilemma, despite the title, it's more personal. But hey, it can be some other Korean-American's problem too - hi there!
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