I've written a post with the topic of the Korean-American dilemma before and today I bring to the world an updated, lengthier version - The College Student's Edition! I have to put up the disclaimer though that this is highly personal and subjective.
In fundamental terms, there's not much of a difference between the dilemmas as a Korean-American in high school and a Korean-American in college. But there are a few specifics I'd like to share (or ramble) about.
The Food. For this one, you don't even have to be Korean-American. You can just be a student raised in a 100% American family and still disdain college cafeteria food. I personally have grown up eating Korean food for all three meals a day - except for when school was in session, I ate the school lunches, but that was about it. If you dig around my blog enough, you'll find that I like food a lot. Especially Korean food. Back when I was in high school, I heard of a Korean-American college student who came home during break with a list of Korean dishes he wants to eat. I've become that student myself.
Television. I really don't watch a lot of Korean television compared to a lot of other Koreans and Korean-Americans, but I watch a fair amount myself (which you could probably tell from my blog posts). But being a college student means not having enough time to even do your homework and get enough sleep. My family and I watch "Gag Concert", "What Should We Eat Today? (오늘 뭐 먹지?)", and recently "Masked Singer (복면가왕)" on Sundays. It's been hard to take that time to watch these shows with the family, as the tradition goes, with all the schoolwork I've got. Though now that I think about it, this is probably a dilemma for any college student who watches TV enough.
The Language. This is also the personal part. I understand the majority of Korean-Americans aren't fluent in Korean. But even if you're not fluent in Korean (I can testify to this looking at another Korean-American student on campus), you just have those few Korean words you want to use but can't. How is this different from when you're in high school? Well, in college, you're surrounded by non-Koreans. You don't live with your Korean family anymore, which means you don't have anyone to speak Korean to after a day of classes. This is also subjective in that my collge has very few Koreans, which is the situation I'm in. Oh the frustrations. I'm paranoid that I'm forgetting the Korean language increasingly as I do life with Americans.
Leaving the House. American culture and society emphasizes individuality much more than Korea does. Koreans are all about relying on each other and helping each other out, not that Americans are unhelpful. Nor does this mean Koreans are needy people. To explain further, it's neither strange nor uncommon for the newly-turned-18-year-old child to leave the house and move into a nearby apartment in America. The typical Korean parents look at that and say, "Why should my child go out and waste money like that? My child can just live with me and save money." And I think it's just harder for us Asians to say goodbye to our parents. Again, not because we're needy, but it's because of the way our parents raise us. I don't know how to explain further without causing misunderstandings, but there's something about us Asian families.
I live on campus myself, and I go to a college in the city I've grown up in for the past decade. Still, my parents are always worried about me. Of course, American parents worry for their child too. In the beginning of the year, my parents frequently messaged me asking if I've eaten. My parents actually calculated and compared the cost of living on campus and commuting. So leaving the house can be a dilemma for the Korean-American college student for the parents and the student (but this includes any college students, not just Korean-Americans).
Korean Exchange Students. My school has an extensive exchange program so we have a lot of international students. In fact, we are sister schools with two colleges in Korea! Here's the personal part again: I just haven't interacted with many Korean-Koreans in my lifetime because I've always lived in smaller cities with a small Korean population. I've rambled sufficiently on this blog about how Korean-Koreans and Korean-Americans are so different. Koreans and Americans think so differently (refer to the previous paragraph for an example). The Korean-American? We don't even know if the way we think is Korean or American half the time. We apply the Korean mindset when we should be applying the American one and vice versa. To go back to language, although I'm fluent in Korean, I find that my mind tends to turn blank when I talk to these Korean-Koreans (think of it as you being unable to speak Spanish to your Spanish teacher when you can speak it well with your classmates otherwise). And along with the language, it's that difference of mindset and culture again. Interacting with these Korean-Koreans in college have been quite an experience for me. So I'm declaring this one a dilemma of Korean-Americans as well.
And finally, The Boy (or Girl). This was the only dilemma of the Korean-American I talked about in my previous blog post. What I mean is the issue of that cute boy on campus not being Korean. And this is the subjective part again: I go to a college where there's like one other Korean and a considerable amount of exchange students from Korea. And exchange students kind of don't count. They're here for a semester or two then leave. I personally want to marry a Korean-American (though I don't think this was really solid a couple of years ago) and my dad said I need to move to a bigger city for that. I took his word of concern(?) lightly but being in a college with very few Koreans, the reality hits me: it's going to be mighty difficult for my wish to come true. I think this has been on my mind more now that I'm in college and people around my age actually get married now.
There's so much more to this subject that I'm going to elaborate more, because I can. There's so much more to it, which is probably why I wrote a whole blog post on it those couple of years ago. Aside from actually finding my Korean-American future husband (which again is highly personal and subjective), what if I fall in love with someone who's not Korean-American? I don't mean to close any doors. I'm not the only one who's changed, my dad is now open to me marrying a man of any ethnicity/race, as long as he's a faithful Christian (my mom on the other hand won't accept a non-Korean son-in-law). So what if I get a non-Korean boyfriend? It's not simple as, "Just get married then". Will his parents like me, an Asian? Will they be okay with that fusion of two cultures in their family? Will they be okay with half-Asian grandchildren? With Americans who live in America, finding your partner is easy. It would be for me too, if I were to have grown up in Korea. Most of you readers (who are of this "majority race") probably don't think about this stuff. I could go on more, but I think this does it.
If you know a Korean-American college student - give them a hug. (To be fair, any college student deserves hugs. I use a lot of parenthesis in this post).
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