"Go back home. You're not wanted here."

I am grateful that I grew up in America without being so oppressed due to the fact that I'm Asian-American. Other Asian-Americans have been less fortunate. So it shocked me to hear the words "Go back home. You're not wanted here" directed at me today. I do put up the disclaimer that the words could've been directed to someone else since I didn't turn around at the words. I don't know how the guy responsible for these words even look like. However there were only two of us and I can't help but be upset.

It's funny that this happened today. In one of my classes, an African-American friend shared her story and how she was wrongfully treated for being black. It has been a very eye-opening day.

I know this blog post is more like a journal entry than about Korea. However I do wish to relate this to the subject of Korean-Americans. Perhaps you yourself have Korean or Korean-American friends here in the United States. Perhaps these friends of yours are always happy go-lucky and you're an admirer of Korean culture and have a twinge of jealousy because they're Korean. I sure have had white friends who've expressed this jealousy to me (in a nice way). Yet as it is for all other ethnic minorities in a predominantly white nation, it's not easy being Korean-American.

When I talk to my American friends, I am usually not conscious about my skin color or the fact that I look different than them. The way I see it, the person in front of me is the same human being as I am. There is only one race: the human race. In other words, I almost forget that I am "different" in this land of the free. And this has allowed me to avoid getting hurt for pretty much all of my life, and I am thankful that this is the way I am.

Today, however, I had to flinch at those words "Go back home". Home. What a complicated word. If he meant "home" as in where I was born, then it's a matter of going back to another state and not another country. He probably meant where my heritage is or where my parents are from. But in his eyes, since I look Korean I must also be directly from Korea. I am heartbroken and a little enraged at his ignorance.

Following this logic, if his ancestors happen to be European immigrants then that must mean his home is a country like Ireland or Germany, right? In that case, the United States of America is not his home either. Wait a minute, the real "home owners" are the Native Americans. I guess I'm not the only one who should "go back home".

Then the words "You're not wanted here" followed. No one wants to hear those words, regardless of their skin color, their family background, their socioeconomic status, etc. I can't decide which of the two is worse: "Go back home" or "You're not wanted here."